My review of Quiet:The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain.
This book was incredible! As a self-diagnosed introvert, I found that I was able to relate to so much of this content and it truly helped me feel less isolated. The author presents both personal and professional scenarios to explore- all of which caused me to reflect on my own experiences and gain some perspective of why I sometimes feel the way I do in these social situations. The idea that over time we have shifted from a ‘culture of character’ vs. a ‘culture of personality’ (especially in Western cultures) quite literally explains why us introverts feel like we no longer have a voice and are often overlooked by the louder, more flashy messages! Cain posits that “Extroversion has been indoctrinated as a social norm” through a variety of cultural/political institutions. Institutional assimilation has happened through the education system, corporate cultures, marketers, and even leading beliefs in psychiatric studies - all aligning to assign extroverted behaviors as standard human behavior.
When I read this book, I considered myself to be successful in my own little corner of a corporate environment, and this book helped me find many truths about its impact on me as well as my impact on it as an employee and introverted leader. I strongly encourage any and all leaders in business settings to consider the thoughts presented by Susan Cain while you evaluate the culture of your organizations and how you guide your teams to success. I also recommend that anyone identifying as an introvert pick up this book and start at the beginning. It may just lead you to your next great revelation. Are you an extrovert? This book might also be helpful to you in gaining a little more understanding of your introverted family, friends and colleagues.
My personal experiences in the corporate world have been described so well in this book. I found it reassuring to know that I clearly was not alone in trying to understand why I just couldn’t align with some of the requested behavior! The need for flashy slide show presentations, to put it bluntly, borders on the absurd. I have even had leaders tell me they don’t want us engage in an exercise of PowerPoint creation, just come to the table with your ideas- you show up with a fully planned discussion but little to no slides, and the reaction is that you have not done enough research or the idea has no merit because ‘you haven’t told a good enough story’. The frustration is maddening. Cain reflects on others’ comments throughout the book; the concept in the business world of “people here don’t even want to meet with you if you don’t have a PowerPoint and a ‘pitch’ for them. Even if you’re just making a recommendation to your colleague, you can’t sit down in someone’s office and tell them what you think. You have to make a presentation, with pros & cons and a takeaway ‘box’” In my career, this slowly became the day-to-day requirement to be taken seriously. One needed to have fully vetted an idea and processes, complete with data and projections. Sometimes you just need to sit down with a few folks and talk it out- trying to produce data without those conversations first can often produce misleading results. Additionally, the need to make sure you have run your idea by every possible person, whether they are an expert on the topic or not has led to a lack of productivity in my experience because it leads to a cyclical conversation of trying to incorporate everyone’s ideas whether they are helpful or not. You must prove that you have, at least, considered all possible perspectives! “Groupthink has the potential to stifle productivity,” says Cain.
And, please do not get me started on the ‘Open Concept Office Space’ floor planning initiatives. The terror that I and many of my colleagues faced as this was sweeping through our environments… Some extroverted leader(s) read somewhere that this was the ultimate staging for optimal productivity without considering the emotional toll that many of us would face knowing we would struggle to find the space for reflection and quiet to noodle through issues. Let alone the functional needs of certain spaces- I had direct responsibility for what was essentially an internal call center. The team could not hear their callers over each others’ phone calls, and to this day, I was never successful in convincing leadership that the space was not conducive to the work being done. I think one of the most exhausting experiences for introverts, as part of this ‘Open Concept Office Space’ is in the way Cain describes how “introverts have trouble projecting artificial enthusiasm.” Sitting in those open spaces, an introvert doesn’t have time to process and reflect, creating a constant feeling of having to always ‘be on’ and performative. This also showed up for me when I would be asked to not only support but speak to larger audiences of employees about concepts I was not familiar with or that did not interest me- or most critically when things were not going as planned, but the excitement still had to be ‘sold.’ Prior to my departure from my corporate job, I was increasingly feeling mis-aligned with the message I was delivering- I believe, a direct result of having to ‘create a pitch’ that satisfied a vision, but was not always rooted in reality.
My personal life is experienced quite differently. My current household is made up of 4 introverts! While one son might actually identify himself as an extrovert, he most assuredly has introverted tendencies and can easily fall into that expression while spending time with us. My other son is classically introverted and expresses those traits with much more intensity than his father or I ever displayed. I share this to acknowledge that while I do not need to find ways for overcoming the extrovert-introvert communication paradox, I do feel the need to occasionally shake us up and get us out of our box. Left to our own devices, we may just sit in the house, each enjoying our own company and never proactively explore new adventures. We must engage with each other to stay connected and feel a sense of belonging. I try to instill this with my kids, although it is a balancing act of not forcing through discomfort. In this book, the key concepts of parenting as an introvert; self-preservation and finding what energizes you were all so well researched and outlined that it's difficult to imagine why we haven't already embraced our glorious introspection and reflective ways!
Cain not only addresses the working introvert but also focuses on every aspect of human interrelations. What I took away as the main messaging is that regardless of introversion or extroversion tendencies, humans are complex individuals where nobody fits into a single mold. We should be better in society at accepting the many perspectives and qualities of our fellow humans- everyone has something to offer and we should be more sensitive in listening to the message despite the method in which it is expressed!
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